low motivation

hmm.. here's the story.. I got 11 days to write my thesis..i haven't started a word.. is it professional procrastination in action? but I feel kinda demotivated to do anything related to studies.. I got an assignment due day after tomorrow which i haven't even read about it yet.. It seems like in this last semester of my studies, I'm at the most lazy stage of my study life.. but I can't afford to go on like this.. I HAVE TO DO SOMETHING.. I tell myself.. hmm.. will I be able to pull through? final exams are on its way too.. exactly 24 days away from now..

It's weird.. when I'm working, i feel like studying..when i'm studying, it's the other way.. so seems like we human always like to think that the grass is greener on the other side..but it isn't really that way.. maybe for some people only.. Well, I should at least savor the last few weeks of my student life and do my best in this final battle hehe.. oh well got work to do now (not study related).. so many distractions.. oh ya and lately I have been very amazed by black gospel music.. black drummers, black mamas singing, black organist.. I'm not a racist..but they totally rock in terms of music and groove.. It's like they're born with the talent.. life is unfair somewhat.. Maybe I should start my music practise routines.. at least 2 hours a day.. lol

I've brought it unto myself

'lei zi gei loh lei geh' utters my grandma in cantonese when i whine about how hard my studies is.. I've chosen this road myself.. I had stop studying for 3 years before deciding to plunge into it again.. I could have taken other degrees but i continued my engineering course because it's the shortest route for me to obtain a degree continuing from my engineering diploma.

well right now i'm in the final stages of my studies.. I would like to think that the end is so near and can be seen within my line of sight but i have been having sleepless nights worrying about failing my studies and hence risking my parents' hard earned money.. both my parents worked hard putting me into what I wanted.. i cannot let them down.. all the care i've received would be wasted and all my sufferings in vain if I ever fail to obtain a degree.

All these thoughts are hunting me right now till i think i'm a little depressed.. i couldn't sleep for 2 days.. im thinking too much, worrying and assuming too much.. i wish all these could stop right now.. and hence i wanna write down my thoughts here and hopefully feel better after this.

mr.uk guy is coming to my college on the 12th.. i hope i'll be able to show him my project with confidence..though it's only half completed.. but i'm relieved to know that my project marks are not at stake as the guy just wanna check and is not giving us any marks on the spot.. a lil relieved now.. come to think of it.. this whole engineering course seems like an attitude building course.. I now have a lil confidence that if i have the correct attitude, I can make it through the obstacles.

At the end of the day..it's just a piece of paper you say.. yeah.. i feel the same.. not like it's really gonna make a big difference in my life but since time and money had been invested, it would be a nightmare if i fail.. oh well.. i'm all too pessimistic about the outcome.. I shouldn't be.. after all my overall marks now are in the 2nd upper score region.. I should be glad

becoming your own fan..

today i wanted to create my own fan page at facebook..but i accidentally became a fan of myself through clicking some buttons..haha.. eventually i removed myself from being my own fan haha.. so yea.. i created a fan page for myself.. thinking of it.. nothing wrong actually.. it promotes healthy self image and makes you wanna improve your ownself..so that your page may look better.. and hence I spent quite a lot of time doing some simple recording.. it's really not easy to record yourself..every single mistake can be heard..

As soon as the page was created.. a fan already asked me to do a cover of the song 'spain'.. which is a very hard song to do.. haha.. hope i do not dissapoint my fan.. lol.. so if you're interested to check it out.. it is here at http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/pages/Michael-Lewis/52178406923

procrastination at its best

well i've registered for blogger since november 2004.. but when should i start blogging? hmm.. haha.. at least it's a start now.. I've procrastinated for 4 years and 2 months. . haha.. oh i almost forgot.. happy chinese new year and 恭喜发财